by Jan Kaneft
The Old Testament book of Ruth tells the story of Naomi, a woman who blamed God for the disappointments in her life. A severe famine in Judah forced Naomi, her husband and her two sons to leave Bethlehem, their home. Traveling down that dusty road to a foreign land, Naomi bid farewell to her community and the consolation of familiarity. While in Moab, tragedy struck Naomi’s life. Her husband died, her sons married Moabites, and after ten years both sons died. When the famine ended, Naomi returned to Bethlehem with one daughter-in-law, Ruth.
Devastated by her losses, Naomi re-entered Bethlehem a changed woman. Her appearance stirred those who had previously known her and compelled them to ask, “Can this be Naomi?” Angry and bitter, Naomi responded, “Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” (Ruth 1:20-21)
Like so many of us who submit to bitterness, Naomi succumbed to a victim mentality, stuck in the deception that misery would always be her fate. Because she believed this lie, Naomi was unable to see God’s loving provision through her daughter-in-law, Ruth. Ruth’s devotion to Naomi was unparalleled. She literally and spiritually saved Naomi’s life. You see, Ruth was a part of God’s plan for Naomi. Even though Naomi was blinded by bitterness, God did not give up on her. He chose a tiny miracle to break the spell that had hardened Naomi’s heart and mind—a grandson.
Like Naomi, I too have lived the greater portion of my life angry with God, blaming Him for the weak spiritual and emotional heritage received in my formative years. Feeling unloved, unaffirmed, and deeply insecure, I fell prey to self-absorption, spending most of my time trying desperately to replace the huge missing pieces that, I thought, would make me into a whole person. This lens of self-absorption and bitterness so corrupted my vision that I failed to see God’s loving provision in my husband and in particular, my sons. The mental image of the mother I wanted to be was blurred by my own victim mentality. But God had a plan. With the help of a good counselor and empowered by God’s grace, my vision changed. I realized that GOD was the missing piece I had been searching for to form the whole me. Now, on the other side of grace, God is giving me a do over, a time to love and repair my son’s heart through a tiny miracle—a grandson.
As Naomi rocked and cared for Obed (Ruth’s son, the great-grandfather of David in the lineage of Christ), God renewed and sustained her life. Naomi was given a do over, a blessed time to re-entrust herself to God as she watched His plan unfold. In just two short months, a new baby boy will resurrect the hopes and dreams of my heart. With God’s grace, I pray that the mental image of the mother I wanted to be will be revived in the reality of a grandmother! Perhaps my sons will see that God makes all things new.
Painting: Emile Levy, “Ruth and Naomi,” 1859
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